Smile like you mean it

Oh, emotional turmoil. How I seem to love it. Or at least, how I seem to get embroiled in it frequently. I've come to a few realizations (after one breakdown and several conversations with the people I love).

A) This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. While I have to understand that its an adjustment, I also have to trust that Im going to be just fine. More than fine, Im going to have the time of my life. So cry if I need to, but then make the best of where I am and what Im doing.

B) My friends will be waiting for me in Berkeley when I get back. And those that arent will be talking to me plenty. I cant ruin this experience by wishing they were here. In the words of someone very wise, I need to learn to share this experience with myself. Im usually pretty good at that, so Ive just gotta hone the skills.

C) Any ridiculous feelings that Im having right now are born completely of confusion and a sense of displacement. My friends OBVIOUSLY love me. They OBVIOUSLY miss me. I do not need to feel like they matter more to me than I do to them. Not only does that not matter, but its an unfounded fear. I need to remember that.

In other news, I think I have strep throat. My tonsils are massive and white and swallowing=torture. Nurse tomorrow. Argh. I like to think of this as sweet revenge on the shady mofo I made out with the other night. Ha.