Now shes guilt-striken, sobbing with her head on the floor

Last night I got super drunk. Definitely havent been like that in a while. As J. Bo would say, it was a running home kinda night. Except by running I mean blindly following my friends as they lead me on a maze of trains, buses, and alleys. We pregamed, went to a pub (where I mostly talked to Sara and Kelley on the phone), and went to a club in Piccadilly Circus.

In typical Jordan fashion, I was FUCKED by the time we got there. I dont even remember how much the cover was but Im sure it was insane. Despite this, I opted to order a double shot of vodka and down it without a chaser. What is wrong with me? Then I started dancing with a man... he was not ugly, but he wasnt adorable either. I think he was kinda old. To be honest, I didnt really get a good look at him. But I sure did make out with him like a BEAST. I cant imagine what we looked like. That man kept shoving my hands down his pants and was literally just humping me on the dance floor. Thank god my friends rescued me.

After my rescue, I just wanted to go home, so we did. On the way we got some McDonalds and ate it in a phone booth while a Ugandan man tried to sell us his homemade CD. I talked to J. Bo almost the whole way on the bus. Needless to say, he was amused. After we got home, I decided to get online really fast and check my email. Of course, Adam was online so I ended up sitting on skype with him until 7:30 in the morning. When I realized breakfast was being served downstairs is when I really just had to go. My poor roommate, I was just sitting in our room straight up talking ALL NIGHT LONG. God.

Now that youve heard the saga, hear the conclusions I have drawn from it.

A) I need to go slower with the drinking. Like, go ahead and get drunk but good christ. Im pretty sure these people still like me, but would it really be wrong of them not to? That needs to stop.

B) I realized I am too open. Right now I feel so out there, emotionally. Im constantly telling my friends how much I miss them and I love them. Not only do I think its becoming meaningless, but I also feel really exposed. I dont like people to know that they have the power to hurt me, so I'm going to stop. Now Im limiting the "I miss you"s and "I love you"s to when I feel it is essential. This is a new, not-so-affectionate Jordan.

To some of you that will sound hilarious, but I swear to God its true.

So I slept for 3 hours and woke up to the everpresent jackhammer sounds outside my house. Since I couldnt sleep anyways, Im going to Portobello Market now. Im still a little drunk, not gonna lie. For two days now I have woken up semi-drunk. The first time it was a good feeling. I was happy about everything I did. This time it was terrible. I just groaned and tried to pretend the whole night never happened.