10, 9, 8, and I'm breaking away. I'm all dressed up and I'm ready to play.

So I guess I need to tell about Norway. This ought to be a long one.

Friday:

Travelling was a huge pain in the ass. We got up at 6 am, hopped the tube, took a 1.5 hour bus to London Stansted, flew for 2 hours in Oslo Torp, then took a 2 hour bus into Oslo proper. THEN we were walking to our hostel and we got sorta lost. It was a mess. But finally, about 12 hours after we left our dorm, we arrived in our rooms. That night we walked around and took pictures. The city is BEAUTIFUL but so motherfucking cold. I know what youre thinking- it's Norway. And youre right. But Ive never even been in anything anywhere near this cold. I was surprised. Also, Norway is freakin expensive. We got pizza and it was almost $50 a person. Ripoff.

We wanted to go out but we were just so tired and gross looking, so we ended up going to this weird empty piano bar where the guy in charge of music decided to play only American songs. You havent lived until youve heard "Play That Funky Music White Boy" in a piano bar in Oslo. The drinks were SO amazing though, he used only top shelf alcohol. Then he ended up giving us all free drinks, which was super nice.

Saturday:

We got up early again for the train to Lillehammer. It was SO beautiful. It was everything you would expect of a small Norwegian village. The snow was gently falling the entire time. We walked up and down main street then went up to the Olympic Park. I made my first snow angel there. Unfortunately, I totally bit it on a patch of ice on the way back to the train station. I bruised my knee, but what really hurts is my hip. I feel like Im 95 and I broke it or something. We spent all day in beautiful, freezing cold Lillehammer and took the train back to Oslo in the evening.

Back in Oslo we went to dinner at this Italian restaurant. As if it wasnt weird enough eating Italian food in Norway, we were served by a very friendly Swedish man and his boss was a jolly Spanish man. Actually, he was sort of strange. He came over at one point and was just going on and on about how I look like I could come from Seville- "This hair, these eyes. Let me look at you. You could be Spanish." I was SO embarassed. By the time we finished we were so tired that we just laid down and went to sleep. Boring, right? But it was SUCH an incredible day.

Sunday:

We checked out of the hostel and stored our crap at the bus station... then went exploring Oslo. First we went to the Viking Ship Museum, which was pretty sweet. Those boats were SO old and impressive. Our second stop was Vigeland Park, which was completely amazing. Its this huge parked filled with hundreds of statues made by the same guy. Each one is supposed to represent part of the life cycle. I just walked through it all in awe, it was incredible. I wished Sara was there though, she wouldve died. After that we wanted to go shopping, but for some reason everything is closed in Norway on Sunday, so we went to the Munch museum instead. I REALLY wanted to see this other exhibit though, at the museum across the street, so I went to that alone instead. Unfortunately, it was closed by the time I got there, but it wouldve been so cool. It was called "Against Nature?" and it was about animal homosexuality. Im sad that I missed it. It was nice to take a little break by myself though. I walked around alone taking pictures and appreciating the area. Then I bought a journal in the museum gift shop and sat there writing in it until my friends were done. Im pretty sure they thought I was weird, but whatever.

Then it was time to go home, so we began the travelling process again. Bus-plane-bus-taxi. Got home around 1 am, which meant that I skipped my classes in the morning and slept till 1:30.

I completely fell in love with Norway, but it was nice to come home. I missed talking to J. Bo. and Adam more than is healthy. And speaking of friends- Sara is going to be here in FOUR DAYS!!!!!!! I could not possibly be more excited!

Funny story: last night I went out with some friends to the Greyhound, the pub Im always at. Got pretty drunk, had an amazing time. But one weird thing did happen. I went outside to make a phone call and when I came back in this weird black guy walks up to me and says "I thought you left." Ummmm.... ok.... he then proceeds to ask me out for Valentines day and give me his number, insisting that I call him. SO WEIRD. That sort of thing has never happened to me before. But why couldnt it be from someone cute, instead of a strange man with a weird accent? Sigh.

Ok, this novel is getting obscene. Time to work on my paper. Argh.

Be my love, be my friend

I just realized what has to happen for me to be happy.

I need to stop being so needy and emotional. It seems like a viscious cycle, right? Im needy and emotional, so I get upset about that because I know Im stronger than that, which makes me needy and emotional. But its over now.

I realized that I am SO MUCH stronger than this. I dont need any of the people I think I do. I can do this completely on my own and I will be amazing. Thats what its about. I need to rely on myself and myself alone, and I KNOW Im strong enough for that.

From my friends I get the constant reassurance that thats true. Thats gone now. I need to remember it on my own. But seriously, theres no reason for me to feel weak at all. I just need to be confident in my ability to do this and stop relying on people at home.

So I'm going to stop talking to you people so much. I love you, but I need to separate from you. I need to push off and be on my own. Im physically alone but emotionally ridiculously dependent on you, and that has to change. It will be hard at first for me, but I know it will be good in the end.

I love you all and I thank you for the part that youve each had in my life. I cant wait to get back and let you have a big part again. It just cant happen right now. So, Ill say it one last time - I miss you. I love you.

But (and dont take this the wrong way) I dont need you.

The wheels just keep on turning

Oh what an eventful 4 days.

First of all, Cirque du Soleil was AMAZING. The Indian food I had that night was also amazing. I was in a little bit of a funk all day though. I'm just having some trouble adjusting and finding my place here I think. Im working on it.

Saturday I pretty much sat around making more plans for traveling. I have completely finished booking my flights and hostels for the London-Venice-Rome-Athens-Tel Aviv leg of my journey. As for the Tel Aviv-Amsterdam-Prague-Barcelona leg, we've decided on dates and chosen the flights but havent purchased them yet. I'm so excited. We're going to be in Amsterdam for 10 days. TEN DAYS. Those will be 10 amazing days that I doubt Ill remember much of.

Yesterday I had a whole day to myself so I decided to go to Hyde Park and visit Speakers Corner. Its the only spot in London that has freedom of speech and congregation, so the crazies go there to preach their bullshit. Unsurprisingly, I loved it. It totally reminded me of Berkeley and made me feel at home. I listened to an insane man yell about how Jesus wasnt divine because he had to eat and poop. Wow. I brought some reading and my journal and hung out in Hyde Park for awhile, which was nice. It was gorgeous... until I had a brush with a little sexual assault.

It started when this middle eastern guy walked over and just stood in front of me until I said hello. He asked me where I was from, so I politely said America and tried to keep reading. Then hes like "where do you live?"... so I responded with "why" because that is a creepy question. His explanation was "I just saw you sitting here and youre beautiful and I just want to talk to you for a few minutes. I just want to see you listening to me." Creepy, right? So I was like "I'm really sorry, but Im busy," VERY politely. His response was "please just a few minutes." Basically this continued for like 5 minutes, increasing in intensity and creepiness, until I finally asked him if I was going to have to leave. At this point he looks at me and says "I SAID please" in a super threatening voice. So I looked at him and said "and I SAID no." Lucky for me, he just walked away. There were tons of people all around us, so I wasnt too scared, but if there hadnt been I have no doubt I wouldve been hurt or raped. I was afraid he was going to trail me after that, so I hung out for a long time. Scary shit. Ultimately, though, I had a good time by myself in the park. I need more alone time with my journal I think.

Last night I decided to go out with Katie and Emily in honor of the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, I got really trashed really fast and didnt even see a second of the game. Instead I made phone calls I dont remember (four times to Adam!!) and vomited all over my room. Oh and lets not forget that I simply could not remember the code to open my door. I ended up going to security and saying "Im too drunk to remember the code to my room, please help me." Dear sweet Christ. This morning I had 9am class. Obviously that didnt happen. I'm a hungover mess.

I leave for Norway in 4 days and Sara gets here in 13.





Oh and best thing ever:

I found a gay bar called "Brokeback Mount Me." SO GOOD.

It's too late to apologize

I got my computer back and finally got the internet working. I also bought a new camera, which is being shipped to me soon.

Additionally, I bought a flight home.... on July 18.... from Barcelona... to SFO. I dont really know how this is going to work. But I do know when Im coming back to the US, even if thats just when Im moving into my apartment with Adam. I also bought a ticket from Athens to Tel Aviv for May 23, so I guess that means Im working my way to Athens between May 11 and 23. I still cant believe Im spending a month in Israel.

I got really drunk last night and had a complete mental breakdown. The moral of the story is, I love Adam and my new friends. Also last night I received the WORST pickup line of life. At one point in the midst of this guys 'game' he says to me "I knew you were from LA cuz youre so glamorous." Of course, being drunk and already an asshole, I looked him in the eye and said "shut the fuck up and get away from me." Poor man just walked away. Ha.

I go to Norway next weekend and tomorrow I see Cirque du Soleil, so Im excited.

I am so lucky to be here. I might be poor as a motherfucker when I get home, but its going to be worth every penny.