You need me less than I need you

I'm really overwhelmed with bullshit right now. So, in order to handle this, I am making a list of all the crap thats coming up, both good and bad. Hopefully then I wont be so pissed off that Im about to leave London, which I cant even begin to talk about yet.

May 23- History Topic Review Due
24- US/UK History Paper Due
25- Peer Adviser Interview
26- The Ghetto, dancing with Alex and Erica
28- The Mean Fiddler, sweet live music with Devon
30- The End, dancing (but this time I wont get slapped by a gay boy)
June 2- Travel Writing Final
- Change my lip ring
3- Art in Context Final
4- History of London Final
8- US/UK History Final
11- Leave for Venice
15- Finally see Stephanie! Oh and Rome.

...and off for my European adventure from there.

I'm just stressed about class stuff, like this paper, and about packing. And saying goodbye. And just the general fact that 20 days remain in this beautiful city where I've been living for 4 months. I love it here. I will always miss it.

You know, studying abroad is an amazing experience. You get to call somewhere else, somewhere completely different, home for a short period of time. It teaches you so much about where youre coming from and (I think) where you want to go. For me, it hasnt even been about the people here. As a general rule, theyre cool but not as cool as the people I love at home. And by home I mean both Berkeley and Saugus. Which brings me to my next point... Before college I thought you could have one home. Just one. It was where you felt comfortable and your family was. Then I went to college and realized that it can also be where your friends are. I certainly view Berkeley as my home just as much as the place where I spent 18 years of my life. But then I came here and realized that its not even about the people. It doesnt matter where you are or who youre with - it can be home. If you decide it is, and make an effort, and let yourself fall in love with the place just a little bit, it can be home. I have fallen head over heels in love with London. Its not a blind love, I know the weaknesses of this place. I can bitch about how the tube closes at midnight or how the people are rude with the best of them. But ultimately, I am leaving a piece of my heart here. Just as Ive left a piece in Santa Clarita and one in Berkeley.

I wonder how many more pieces there are? Will this go on forever? If I move to NY after graduation, will that be my 4th home? Probably. Then after that, who knows. It is so liberating to know that I have the ability to create a sense of home and completion from scratch.

And that, I think, was the point of studying abroad for me. I dont prefer to be alone, but I can do it, and I can be happy. I can fall in love with a place and not the people in it. I love that.