Am I part of the disease?

Here are some excellent things that happened while Kelley was here:

I threw chocolate onto a Tube train. No, I wasnt on it. I was standing on the platform and I gently tossed it into the train just before it pulled away. Consequently, everyone on the train looked at the chocolate and looked at me just as the doors closed and I began to laugh hysterically. It was amazing.

"One day I will have a friend like yours, and we will go on parade." ~Said by one of the crazy people at Speakers Corner, to the two people in front of Kelley and I

Me: "Wait, we can get on this train! (Get on, wait 30 seconds until doors are beginning to close) No we cant!! Get off!" (Jump off)
Kelley: "What the hell?!"

Crazy muslim man at Speakers Corner: "Who is your god?"
Even crazier christian guy: "The god of abraham, moses, and jacob: Yahweh"

"Get your hand out of your mouth and the dance in your booty" ~Random girl at Tesco Disco to me and Kelley

"You're a lying bitch. Want some lemon cakes? They're kinda greasy right now... like Turkish people." ~My drunk roommate

"Goddamn son of a motherfuckin bitch" ~Kelley, every two seconds

Kelley's proposed solutions to the rudeness of Londoners:

Kelley: "Flatulence"
Rude Person: "Excuse me?"
Kelley: "Exactly"

OR

Kelley: "Pardon you"