Venice

I am in Venice. Oh traveling, you wear me out so. Padova was pretty sweet. Ashley’s friend Susannah (whose apartment I was staying at) is pretty goddamn awesome, she totally cracked me up and she was like the best hostess ever. My first night there, right after I wrote that last entry, she got me SO high, and it was glorious. For some reason her apartment is simply infested with mosquitoes and she spent like 45 minutes killing them with her bare hands and such accessories as books so I could sleep well.

The next morning, I was totally covered in bites anyways. The Italian mosquitoes feasted on my nubile flesh. So now I have a constellation-like series of red bumps on my face. Yippee! (not) Ashley and I had delicious pizza for lunch then went to this really amazing square and sunbathed while drinking a bottle of wine. Then we went to the Basilica and I saw the supposed jaw, vocal chords, and tongue of Saint Anthony. Sorta weird. The best part was DEFINITELY when we went to this little booth outside the basilica and I bought… drumroll please… a HOLOGRAPHIC JESUS PHOTO. Yes, that’s right, I am now the proud owner of a holographic Jesus. Not only that, but I also bought a business card sized one of Jesus’ face with a crown of thorns. He’s supposed to be blinking, but if you turn it just right he can be winking. SO GOOD.

My new favorite word: sacrelicious (instead of sacreligious).

Having had enough desecration of the faith for one day, we went back to Susannah’s and had some more pizza while we got ready to go out. I got to meet a lot of Ashley’s Italian friends, many of whom spoke very little or no English, so it was an interesting night. We went to some pub first and had the most impressively large things of beer ever, then went to this really fucking amazing outdoor discotheque called Par Hasard. I didn’t really get drunk, but holy crap the music was incredible. We thought it was good when Usher’s “Yeah” came on, but we didn’t know yet what good meant. It was quickly followed up by Shania Twain’s “Man (I Feel Like a Woman),” the Village People’s “YMCA,” a medley of tunes from Grease, and “Cotton-eyed Joe.” I watched Ashley do a ho-down in horror. All in all, priceless.

Today I woke up and got ready to leave but was greeted with an unpleasant surprise when I went downstairs – the main door to Sue’s apartment complex wouldn’t open. Long story short, we couldn’t get out for a few hours and it was seriously in doubt whether or not I’d get out today at all. Ultimately, I did, thank GOD. I hopped onto a train to Venice with all my shit, got here half an hour later, spent an hour finding my hostel, and then when I got here the goddamn key broke off in the door. I was like wow… jesus hates me. I think its punishment for the holographic Christ. Well, too bad God, I like you better in hologram form – you can deal.

So now I’m in Venice and it’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s also 9pm so fuck it, I’m chilling in my room for the night, sleeping well, and conquering the city tomorrow. Exactly 48 hours until I see Stephanie in Rome!!!!!